My new pouffe

I,m trying my hardest not to do too much but being a women thats not that easy. Is there any women out there who can really switch off and allow other people to take care of things for them.  Darren has had to go to Lincoln for the last 2 days to sort out his transfer so my parents came down to make sure I wasn't on my own. Or from Darren's point of view unsupervised as he knows he can't trust me not to do all sorts of things around the house.

My mum is a seamstress which comes in handy on numerous occasions, so I did put her to work while she was here. My old pouffe that I love has started to decompose, you only had to look at the fabric and it seemed to rip more. 

I bought the same fabric that the sofa is covered in and got her to recover it. It saved me a lot of money as the shop assistant in Laura Ashley tried to get me to buy a brand new footstool instead of the fabric. Maybe if I wasn't taking time of work and finances were not to be affected I may of  caved in but I,m trying to being sensible. So thank you very much Mum it looks great. 

I am home now and feeling sore, tired and emotional. It was a very intense experience but I can honestly say I have now accepted I have breast cancer and have cried enough yesterday to last a lifetime.

I arrived on the ward Thursday morning feeling scared and knowing Darren was leaving any minute and that I wouldn't  see him for 2 days was not helping. I was then introduced to the 3 elderly ladies I would be spending the next 4 days with who were having the same surgery as me. They were so kind if not motherly towards me, I just felt so lonely. I thought how on earth could they understand what I,m going through your all twice my age if not more. I was so rude I put my headphones on and pretended none of it was happening.

After a few hours of realising how childish I was behaving I went and sat with the ladies, and how wrong could I have been it doesn't matter how old you are breast cancer still leaves you devastated, scared and angry. It was great being with people in exactly the same situation who I knew really understood what I was feeling, I know for them too it was the first time they had really opened up to anyone. I think we were therapy for each other. We did what women do best we talked, we laughed (lots) and listened and we were there for each other.

I wish Val, Elizabeth and Betty all the best for the future.

I am really happy with the scars, I don't think they will be visible with low cut tops. I wore my new pink chavvy tracksuit home which has PINK written across the bum. I bought it especially for the campaign. I reckon theres a bit of chav in us all, well maybe quite a bit in me. I know a lots of my friends were wearing pink on Friday when I had the op which was cool, apart from Su who has to wear it everyday as its our work uniform.

Thanks everybody for your lovely comments and support. I will going down to Swansea today and staying in a hotel tonight, the hospital is 3 hours away and I have to be there for 9am and I want to get a good nights sleep. 

I went out for a lovely meal last night with Darren, Su and Paul it was such a good laugh and the food was great. Ive had so many visitors and messages of support it feels a bit weird cos I don't even feel ill. With all the attention it feels more like a Birthday or something. 

I will be home in a few days after the surgery where I will be waited on hand and foot for a while, so I cant complain about that can I. I shall let you know how things went when I,m home, and thanks again for all your support.

Today is Kayleigh's sweet 16, I had to leave the house very early as I had a hospital appointment 3 hours away. After she had gone to to bed last night I blew up balloons and put some trimmings up. I wanted it to be special for her but felt so guilty for being away all day.

It was a long day and the bone scan took just under 4 hours. Apparently its very safe to have nuclear medicine injected into your body even though you have to stay away from pregnant women and children. I have my own thoughts on this hmmm.

We did get the good news this morning though that Darren my hubby is to be posted compassionately home (he's in the RAF). We were hoping this would happen in the near future after being away from home for nearly 4 years but I managed to speed that process up. He has asked me not to use such drastic measures in future.

Tomorrow I will spend the day with Su making sure our business is in order while I'm off over the next few weeks, I have every confidence she will be fine. I hate the idea that I have dropped her in this just as our busiest time approaches.

Apart from a small panic attack just before I was injected this morning I think i,m OK with everything, I will have the surgery Friday and get on with this, sooner it starts the sooner its over especially for Darren, Chloe and Kayleigh.

After 6 months wrapped up for the winter Polly Dolly the caravan was uncovered, it was so exciting I have really missed her. Spent the afternoon cleaning her out and making sure there  were no problems. It's such a relief when don't find any problems especially as she's an old lady. Can't wait to start camping again. I have put some photos from this afternoon in my vintage caravan.

Hi everyone and welcome to my blog, I hope you like as much as i do. I think you will agree  its very me. 

This blog was created so I could show off my lovely vintage caravan Polly Dolly, and lots of other lovely things that make me smile.

As many of you now know I now have breast cancer and I think this will be a great way for me to record my journey as well as looking at lovely things.

Thank you everyone for all your support.