I am home now and feeling sore, tired and emotional. It was a very intense experience but I can honestly say I have now accepted I have breast cancer and have cried enough yesterday to last a lifetime.
I arrived on the ward Thursday morning feeling scared and knowing Darren was leaving any minute and that I wouldn't see him for 2 days was not helping. I was then introduced to the 3 elderly ladies I would be spending the next 4 days with who were having the same surgery as me. They were so kind if not motherly towards me, I just felt so lonely. I thought how on earth could they understand what I,m going through your all twice my age if not more. I was so rude I put my headphones on and pretended none of it was happening.
After a few hours of realising how childish I was behaving I went and sat with the ladies, and how wrong could I have been it doesn't matter how old you are breast cancer still leaves you devastated, scared and angry. It was great being with people in exactly the same situation who I knew really understood what I was feeling, I know for them too it was the first time they had really opened up to anyone. I think we were therapy for each other. We did what women do best we talked, we laughed (lots) and listened and we were there for each other.
I wish Val, Elizabeth and Betty all the best for the future.
I am really happy with the scars, I don't think they will be visible with low cut tops. I wore my new pink chavvy tracksuit home which has PINK written across the bum. I bought it especially for the campaign. I reckon theres a bit of chav in us all, well maybe quite a bit in me. I know a lots of my friends were wearing pink on Friday when I had the op which was cool, apart from Su who has to wear it everyday as its our work uniform.